Saturday, January 28, 2012

Thankskilling (2009)

    Thankskilling is a low budget comedy/horror about a homicidal five-hundred and ten year old turkey (killer turkey,that's right). I know it sounds like I should have stayed away from this one, right? I'm glad I didn't.It was meant to be a bad horror movie, it succeeded and had me laughing the entire movie.The plot was stupid, the acting was atrocious, not only was there a homicidal turkey but he was a foul-mouthed, talking, homicidal turkey.There were so many outrageous elements to Thankskilling and I loved every minute of it!
   Johnny,Billy,Darren,Kristen, and Ali are all headed home from school, on their Thanksgiving vacation, when Johnny's (Lance Predmore) jeep breaks down.They just happen to have beer and tents and decide to camp there in the woods for the night and party.Darren (Ryan E. Francis) finds an old sign in the woods that reads "Crawberg"  and tells the group the legend that goes along with it...Right after the first Thanksgiving, pilgrim Chuck Langston dishonored Feathercloud, an Indian that practiced black magic.Feathercloud decided to curse all white people and used necromancy to bring back a dead turkey to wreak havoc on white people every five-hundred and five years on Thanksgiving.Of course it happens to be five-hundred and five years later and unbeknownst to them the turkey has already killed a dog, his first victim (the dog peed on him and he wasn't too happy about it).
   Oscar (General Bastard) finds his dog murdered by an axe and the turkey still at the scene.The turkey tells Oscar it was an "axe-ident" and Oscar has a melodramatic breakdown with his hands to to the sky asking "Why?".The next morning the group wakes to find Oscar in their camp looking for the turkey that killed his beloved dog.Meanwhile the turkey is hitchhiking and gets picked up by a guy who apparently is attracted to turkeys (he gives a whole new meaning to loving turkey). When he realizes what the driver's intentions are the turkey materializes a shotgun, from who knows where, and blows the guy away.Believe it or not, it continues to get even more ridiculous. Ali (Natasha Cordova), for example, is at her home getting it on with some guy when the turkey shows up, kills the guy, and takes his place behind Ali without her knowing.After the turkey's dramatic (how can I put this delicately?) finish, I guess, he tells Ali she's just been stuffed and kills her.As if the Ali and turkey sex scene wasn't crazy enough, the group arrives at Ali's to find her dead and  they also find the wrapper of an extra-small, gravy-flavored condom.
   Johnny,Kristen (Lindsey Anderson),Billy (Aaron Ringhiser-Carlson), and Darren decide they need to find a book on how to kill the turkey and Kristen suggests they go to her house because her dad has tons of books and probably has one on killer turkeys (duh, doesn't everyone?). When they get to Kristen's the turkey answers the door wearing her father's face (the turkey showed up earlier wearing Groucho Marx glasses claiming to be a friend of Kristen's and killed her father after having a cup of coffee with him). Kristen introduces who she thinks is her father (stupid, but extremely funny moment), to Johnny,Billy, and Darren and they then head out to the garage to find the book on killer turkeys.They find a book and discover how to kill the turkey, but I won't go into that.There is so much more I would like to share, but I don't want those of you who plan on watching it to know the entire movie beforehand.
   I loved the stupid humor Thankskilling had to offer.It even had some pretty decent gore which made it even better for me.I expected Thankskilling to be as awful as Rock N Roll Frankenstein (my Jan.14th blog) if not worse, but it surprised me and I got some really good laughs out of it.Netflix gave it 3.1 out of 5 stars, but I think I'll bump it up to 3.7 !

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