Saturday, January 14, 2012

Rock N Roll Frankenstien (1999)

   Rock N Roll Frankenstein is a horror/comedy,I think.If it's supposed to be horror, or a comedy, it doesn't succeed.It was just plain stupid, I'm usually a big fan of that, but this was just over-the-top stupid.Okay, so I knew this wasn't going to be an Academy Award winner when I chose it, the title gave that away, but I didn't expect it to be as ridiculous as it was.
   Record producer Bernie (Barry Fetermen) in the opening scene is having an argument with one of his stars who wants to get out of his contract.In the course of their argument the star proceeds to tell Bernie that his ass is insured by Lloyds of London for three million "smackaroos".Smackaroos?Is he five years old?There I was ,maybe only one minute into the movie when he said that,I should have known then to walk away.Oh, and I can't fail to mention how he offers to take a dump on the floor of Bernie's office and proclaims that it might be worth a couple of thousand dollars (I guess that was actually funny, but overshadowed a bit by his terrible acting).
   Bernie, fed up with his current egomaniac musicians,decides to enlist his (eew...brace yourself...) necrophiliac,mad scientist  nephew, Frankie (Jayson Spence) and mega-stoner Iggy (Hiram Jacob Segarra) to create the ultimate rock star.Frankie develops a body part rejuvenating serum while practicing his necrophilia at the coroners office he was fired from (I don't think I need to tell you what body part of the deceased he was using his serum on at the coroners office). Iggy and two of his equally mega-stoner buddies drive around the country desecrating the graves of famous musicians for body parts.The King (Graig Guggenheim), their finished product, is comprised of Keith Moon's legs,Sid Viscious' butt,Elvis Presley's head, and what is supposed to be Jim Morrisson's penis.When The King begins to have what he calls "unnatural urges" (homosexual) Bernie finds out that Iggy accidentally destroyed Jim Morrison's body part and replaced it with Liberace's.The King's penis develops a murderous mind of it's own and starts to drive The King insane.
  The talking penis bit just goes way too far.This movie takes raunchiness to a whole new level that I didn't care to visit.Don't get me wrong,I occasionally enjoy a good raunchy movie (keyword being GOOD) but it was just ridiculous!There were a couple of scenes of Frankie fondling himself to pictures of what appeared to be the internal organs of autopsied bodies.As if that wasn't raunchy enough, there was a scene where The King brought home a male prostitute and The Kings talking member says "Oooo...what's that smell?I smell dingleberries" when the prostitute drops his pants. I'm sorry I took you there,I just needed someone to share my pain.
   Rock N Roll Frankenstein reaked of bad acting and bad taste.I wouldn't recommend this movie to my worst enemy (okay, maybe I would). If I hadn't promised to sit through any horror movie, no matter how terrible, I wouldn't have watched it for more than ten minutes and I wouldn't be wishing for amnesia.Rock N Roll Frankenstein practically makes House of Blood (my January 12th movie review), look like an award winner.Netflix lost it's mind and gave Rock N Roll Frankenstein 2.6 out of 5 stars.Negative 2.6 is more like it (I'm pretty sure I lost some brain cells while I watched it).

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