Sunday, January 22, 2012

Bread Crumbs (2011)

   Bread Crumbs is about an adult film crew who rent a remote cabin in  "east bumf@*# nowhere"(sorry,couldn't resist (House of Blood,my Jan. 12th blog)), to shoot a movie.Before they know it they're being hunted by someone from the surrounding woods.
   In the opening scene of Bread Crumbs the film crew makes a pit-stop in the woods and encounters a couple of strange teenagers in front of their van as they're leaving.They offer the kids a ride and they decline so they drive off to the cabin they're renting for their shoot.After arriving at the cabin the film crew decides to relax and party before they get to work the next morning.Angie (Marianne Hagan), an aging porn star who wants this to be her last adult film, doesn't join the party and steps outside to get away from the craziness going on in the cabin.As Angie is relaxing outside when she runs into the creepy, doll toting teenage girl Patti (Amy Crowdis), that they encountered earlier.I was about to make fun the teenage girl for carrying a doll and claim that it was unrealistic, but then I recalled that I played with Barbie's until I was fourteen.Shhhh...don't tell anyone! Angie is talking to Patti, the girl is startled by howling coming from the woods nearby.Angie tries to comfort her by telling her "It's probably just a raccoon or something." A raccoon? A howling raccoon? I don't claim to know everything about the animal kingdom, but I'm pretty sure there isn't a species of howling raccoon.
   The next morning the film crew gets to work on their movie.As adult film stars Skylar (Zoe Sloane) and Billy (Steve Carey) are in the middle of a scene someone spots Henry (Don Shaked), Patti's half-witted brother, peeping in on the shoot.The whole crew freaks out as if voyeurism isn't already in their line of business!After their horrifying ordeal of being watched  while having sex on camera, the crew manages to pull themselves together and get back to work.Dominic (Douglas Nyback) is locked outside by film director Eddie (Mike Nichols) for not having his lines memorized for his scene (How hard can porn movie lines be?). While Dominic is outside trying to memorize his lines he's attacked and the rest of the crew starts to get killed off throughout the course of the movie.                                         
    It's obvious from the beginning of the movie that Henry and Patti are going to be the killers so I don't feel like I'm spoiling anything for you.They have this weird Hansel and Gretel obsession that just makes the plot stupid .It would have been a much better movie if they had left out that aspect of it.It just seemed very unnecessary except that it made the title make sense.They should have left it out and changed the title.
   Overall it wasn't too terrible of a movie.The acting was fine and it had an okay story (minus the Hansel and Gretel thing). I would have liked to have seen a lot more gore, it was seriously lacking in that department.The goriest scene in the movie was when Skylar's throat was cut, and it wasn't gory at all ( I doubt even my 2 and a half year old would have flinched). Netflix gave Bread Crumbs 1.9 out of 5 stars.I would give it 2.6. I don't know exactly how Netflix determines their ratings but they gave In Search of Lovecraft  (my Jan. 21st blog) 2.4 stars and it was a MUCH more awful movie than Bread Crumbs.How does that happen? If you're looking for a really good horror movie I wouldn't recommend Bread Crumbs, but if you're bored it's worth checking out.

1 comment:

  1. Adding sound to movies would be like putting lipstick on the Venus de Milo.