Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Die-ner (2010)

   Serial killer Ken (Joshua Grote) hitchhikes and ends up at an empty diner during the graveyard shift.Ken proceeds to kill diner employees Rose (maria Olsen) and Fred (Jorge Montalvo), the only two people in the diner, and hides their bodies in the walk-in freezer.Ken poses as an employee when couple Rob (Parker Quinn) and Kathy (Liesel Kopp) stop in for a bite to eat.Ken is about to make Rob and Kathy his next victims when Sheriff Duke (Larry Purtell) shows up and wonders where Rose and Fred are just as they're coming out of the freezer in their newly acquired undead state.
   Rob,Kathy,and the now bitten Sheriff Duke are held hostage by admitted killer Ken while he tries to figure out what to do about the zombie situation.The couple manages to knock Ken out twice and almost escape.While Ken is knocked out, both times, he has some strange, completely unnecessary dream of being a child walking around his house.During these long drawn out dream sequences I kept expecting the child version of Ken to find a dead body,kill someone, or at least torture a small animal but nothing happened (Isn't this supposed to be a horror movie?I'm confused!). I just didn't get it.I felt it was also unnecessary for me to know the boring life stories of Rose and Sheriff Duke (More killing and gore and less damn talking please!). Dialogue is an important part of any kind of movie but it has to be done well and be relevant to what's going on in the movie and it was neither.I could care less about Rose's cheating husband (dirty bastard) or Duke's loving wife unless they're getting their faces chewed off ,which would have been nice.
   Wow,this was the most boring zombie movie I've ever seen.How does that happen? Boring and zombie are not usually synonymous but Die-ner managed to make it happen.Not only was this movie boring in general but the zombies themselves were boring and not at all intimidating.I get the feeling that Die-ner was supposed to be a horror/comedy but they failed miserably at both if you ask me.Thankfully Die-ner was only an hour and sixteen minutes long because I doubt I could have made it through much more.Why Netflix rated this movie 2 out of 5 stars is beyond me but I'll knock that rating down to 1 star.

1 comment:

  1. When a documentary filmmaker, working in the style that I do, suggests that there has been a shooting ratio of 40 hours to every one hour of finished film, that doesn't mean that the other 39 are bad.